Reviewed by Frank on Fri January 25, 2008

Sometimes, you get the good with the bad. Yesterday I was impressed with "There Will Be Blood," and earlier this afternoon (hey, after work hours!), "Rambo." To start the weekend movie marathon on such a high note certainly means there will be a low point.

And this time out, it's "Meet the Spartans." If you're 12 years old, or possess the collective brain power of a pre-teen, you may actually laugh.

For those of us with both hemispheres of the brain connected, and who don't find fart jokes nearly as funny as we did when we were 4, the laughs are going to be about as difficult to find as the answer about why you didn't just sneak into another theatre. Any other theatre, really, would do.

Leonidas ends up as king of Sparta, with Captain as his captain of the guard and he ends up married to Queen Margo. Leonidas needs to defend Sparta from invasion from Xerxes' army, a bit tricky since Xerxes is getting help from Traitoro, a traitor in Leonidas' council.

Just to keep it all in perspective, our writer/director/producer team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have brought us such timeless classics as "Date Movie," "Epic Movie," and had a hand in the "Scary Movie" series. None have broken the 3.0 mark on IMDB's scale of one to ten... and friends, 1 isn't "Best film EVER!!!"

I didn't expect much from "Spartans," but they fell short of even those marginal expectations. The ongoing beating of the dead horse of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears got tired out fast, but like a bad cold, they just wouldn't quit already. (It's funny, at times, when "Family Guy" does it, but in that case, the show it... y'know, funny.)

Take your $10 and find another film. Any film. Or hit the TCBY / Cold Stone around the corner. Either way, you'll be grateful you got something for your money besides 84 minutes of your life lost.

Spoofs of movie and people include 300, Stomp the Yard, You Got Served, Transformers, Britney Spears and K-Fed, Paris Hilton, Borat, American Idol and Simon, Paula and Randy, Tyra Banks, Donald Trump, James Bond, Dane Cook, and so forth...