Machete is a hard movie to categorize. It definitely has over-the-top violence and blood – to the point the violence becomes somewhat humorous. The plot, which has political undertones about the issues of illegal immigration, is not terribly complex. In fact, much of the movie seems to be spent mocking those who push for stronger immigration laws in this country. Multiple scenes involve nudity; if you want to see Lindsay Lohan and Alicia Rachel Marek, playing a daughter-mother duo named April and June, get naked together to make out with Danny Trejo then this movie is for you. If you want to see Jessica Alba naked…well sorry to disappoint. You do get a nice shower scene with her though. Oh, and did we say there was lots of violence?
Now if you still are interested in seeing this movie after everything I just told you, then you are going to love this movie. The plot focuses on the political corruption of a Texas Senator played by Robert DeNiro whose political platform is based on stopping Illegal Aliens from crossing the border. He has a crooked Texas business man played by Jeff Fahey, a racist vigilante in control of a militia army played by Don Johnson, and a powerful Mexican drug lord played by Steven Seagal in his pocket. The group of villains plots the Senator’s re-election and the creation of an electrical border fence under their control. Standing in their way is Machete, a ex-federale played by Danny Trejo, an underground activist helping illegal immigrants cross the border played by Michelle Rodriguez, and a sympathetic border patrol agent played by Jessica Alba. Oh, and throw a gun-toting padre played by Cheech Marin in for good measure.
Director Robert Rodriguez does a great job weaving this wide variety of talented actors and actresses together seamlessly for this movie in scene combinations you probably never imagined possible. I mean seriously, did you ever expect to see Academy Award winner Robert DeNiro in a scene with Lindsay Lohan dressed as a nun?
The best way I can describe this movie is a dark comedy, and certainly there are a number of hilarious scenes to be had. If you can stomach the violence and blood and enjoy mindless action, then you probably will come out of the theater liking this one. PLEASE THOUGH, DO NOT BRING YOUR KIDS TO THIS ONE. It is rated R for good reason.
I give this movie a
B- For those who like movies with lots of gratuitous violence and sex.